From the boyfriend of a former model. He became her boyfriend after she had worked for me. This model keeps in touch with me from time to time. I’ve cross posted this to my MySpace blog as well as the column I write for XXXChurch.com.
My name is (Name removed) you don’t know me but my wonderful girlfriend had worked for you. Her name is (Name removed). When i heard she did a couple photoshoots with you it was probably the one thing that made me wonder if I could truly love her. I blamed you. I have since realized that I love that amazing girl no matter what. We have been together for a year. We have our own place together and couldn’t be happier. I had asked her why she still talked to you and what she said made a lot of sense.
“I have to learn to forgive myself and I want Donny to know I don’t blame him, he is probably doing enough of that on his own.”
I know a little about you from what she has told me and from the porn sunday blog you posted and I just wanted to let you know I think you’re doing good . I know it probably dosent mean much coming from someone you have never met but it makes me feel better to let you know. (Name removed) is loved with all my heart and is doing well. I hope life is good and that you are doing well also.
Wishing you the best of luck.
This email… I don’t really know what I think about it. I can put myself in the place of this man and empathize with how he feels. This is the first email I’ve received from the boyfriend of a former model. I really am glad he contacted me.
Just a month or so ago I had another model that told me it’s hard for her to find a boyfriend. She’s an amazingly beautiful girl, but once a new love interest hears about the work she did for me he usually leaves. For a specific instance, she shared a story about a guy she’d been very interested in for quite some time. Things were progressing well for her until he learned about the modeling she’d done for me. As soon as he found out about it, he no longer wanted to date her. When she talked with her mother about it her mom said she could totally understand how the guy felt and didn’t blame him at all.
Both of these situations are examples of how porn affects the lives of those involved long after their “career” is over.
Here’s my response to the email above:
I am glad you contacted me. I really don’t know what to say. I was a very selfish person, making money at the expense of other people for so long. I never took the time to consider how it would affect the models for the rest of their lives. I always justified my actions by saying “I warned them and they signed a release.” The truth is that I knew better. I had a bigger perspective. I chose myself over each and every model who worked for me.
I’m so glad you looked beyond the work (Name removed) did for me. She’s a really great girl who needs a good man in her life. She was young and naive, and I’m glad you don’t hold that against her.
I have no excuse, but thank God things have changed. As you know, I no longer produce porn. I now travel the country in an attempt to educate people about the realities of that industry. I don’t want to take away anyone’s rights to work in the business, consume porn, or produce it. But I do want people to realize there are real life consequences.
For what it’s worth: to you, as well as to her, I apologize. I wish the two of you nothing but the best. They say “what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger”. I don’t think that’s just a cliché. For (Name removed), and for me, I think it’s very true.
Feel free to email me any time.
– Donny –