Donny's Ramblings


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Failed Faith: Street Talk

This type of thing is right up my alley!

Jason Harper Writes:

We just posted a podcast called Failed Faith: Street Talk. Some are didn’t like it. In fact, some of the religious persuasion are upset that we recorded the conversation, much less, posted in online. I do not apologize.

Failed Faith is an honest assessment. Many people within faith have a stunted ability to accurately explain their belief without clouding it with the comforts of religious clichés. When asked how or why one should believe, those whom have a failed faith can’t give a reasonable or relevant explanation. They boast a shallow answer that uses circular reasoning, anecdote, and subjective theory. No depth that considers logic.

When asked, “Why is the Bible true?” they respond. They say, “Because the Bible says it’s true.” Failed Faith refuses to go beyond itself to explain itself. When that answer is deemed deficient, they get defensive and argumentative.

I’ve engaged them. Yes, those under the steeple of the church. I’ve asked them to explain in common language how or why an unchurched or pre-Christian should believe. They come back with less each time.

Failed Faith is recording that we made by capturing the essence of shallow speaking on the streets. We found people who wore their faith on their sleeve. We engaged them to kindly walk us through the process. When they used terms that a common citizen would not understand, we asked them to explain. We were not combative. We were not there to argue. We were just inquisitive.

Two final thoughts I’d like to share.

First, if you are a person of faith, I challenge you to become familiar with a working knowledge of what you believe, but WHY you believe it. Please check combative tones at the door. Please abandon judgmentalism. Please disregard dogma. Instead seek to listen. Seek to understand, before you seek to be understood.

Second, if you are person who has not prescribed to any faith, consider the claims of Christ. You may be like the hundreds of others I have encountered. They don’t have problem with Jesus, in fact they revere Him. You may, like me, just have a problem with some of those whom speak on his behalf.

Regardless, listen. Go to www.jasonharper.cc and click on the podcast headphones. Listen to Episode 134: Failed Faith Street Talk.

Until then, hope.

Jharp

Good stuff, Jason!


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Ron Jeremy. Nina Hartley. Craig Gross. Donny Pauling.

Written yesterday while on a jet flying to Ohio. Gotta love Journler.

I’m on an airplane bound for Columbus, Ohio. Tomorrow morning Jason Harper and I will be speaking at a Porn and Pancakes event in Dayton. Jason will then fly home to celebrate his son’s birthday. I’ll stay in Ohio for an event I’ve been looking forward to for several weeks. It’s been tough to keep quiet about it, but now that the airing of the event on Nightline has been postponed I guess I’ll tell you about it before it happens:

Live in front of 3,500 students at Ohio State University, porn stars Ron Jeremy and Nina Hartley will be debating Craig Gross and yours truly on the topic of Pornography. Craig and Ron normally debate each other. This time it’s two on two at the request of the crew from Nightline. Martin Bashir from Nightline was supposed to have been the moderator. Unfortunately, filming has been postponed, as Martin was called off just yesterday to a story he’s been following for quite awhile. I’ve been assured the planned filming will happen in the near future, but for now we’ll debate in front of those in attendance. I’m very excited about it. When he first found out the tv crew wasn’t going to be there, Ron’s agent wasn’t sure if he’d be okay with Nina and I appearing at the debate… and at first he wasn’t. But this morning I received word from Craig that Ron had changed his mind and is welcoming us.

To be honest, I’m not all that disappointed at the lack of TV cameras. When the new date is scheduled I’ll have had one “practice” debate, so to speak. Wait, that kinda sounds bad. Please don’t take it that way. This debate is just as important without the cameras as it will be with them. It’s just that I’ve been feeling a bit nervous, not knowing what to expect. After this weekend I’ll have a better idea of the keypoints Ron and Nina use for their “pro porn” arguments. I like that idea.

I’m flattered Craig invited me to be at his side (thanks, Craig). The debate begins Sunday night at 8pm eastern time/5pm Pacific Time. If you’re of the praying persuasion, please talk to God for us.

Amusing (to me anyway) side note: I have my iTunes playing songs at random. Guess what just started playing? Yep. Turn The Page by Metallica. That song was sent to me through iTunes several months ago by a friend who was giving me a hard time as I told her I was on my way to a speaking engagement. She was warning me against getting a “big head”. I really find it funny that it started playing as I wrote about yet another speaking engagement. The lyrics go something like this:

Here I am,
On the road again.
There I am,
Up on the stage.
Here I go,
Playin’ star again.
There I go…
Turn the page.

That may be amusing, but God, I never want to feel like I’m a “star”. I never want that to happen. There have been a handful of people in my life who have asked me if I ever start feeling that way, and I want you to keep putting them in my life to keep me accountable. But I do thank you for giving me a battle to fight. Every man needs one because it makes us feel like our life means something. Thank you for using me in this one.


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Blunt Talk About Pornography: Questions Answered

As a former producer, it’s normal that people want to ask questions about porn. Many of the questions I’ve received via email or myspace are quite repetitive. I don’t mind answering the same questions over and over again, but I also felt that if the same questions are being asked by so many different people, perhaps it’s time for some sort of “Q & A” column involving some of the questions or issues that are raised most often.

Those posing the questions range from individuals struggling with porn to Pastors or Youth Pastors who want to speak about it in sermons or workshops. At the moment I’m not feeling too motivated to write out a dedicated Q & A section (maybe someday), so I instead spoke with Jason Harper from Capital Christian Center and asked if he’d be willing to have a conversation with me, and to record it in MP3 format so that I could stream it from this site. Jason agreed (he posted our conversation on his podcast as well).

Because we ran out of time, not every question is covered. Many of the most important questions, however, are addressed here (click the triangle to play or right click here and save the file to your harddrive):

Running Time: 31 minutes, 28 seconds

Donny Pauling and Jason Harper, after the podcast….
^^^ Put faces with the voices: Jason (L) and Donny (R) ^^^


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Grabbing Ron Jeremy's Butt… and Other Silliness

The podcast we recorded last Sunday while at Capital Christian Center is finally up on JasonHarper.cc. Click that link, then listen to Episode 107. Jason Harper discusses some of the silliness that happened on the recent Porn Debate tour. The Porn Debate is quite the interesting event: Craig Gross from XXXChurch debates Ron Jeremy, the biggest adult male porn star in the business, about the issue of pornography. Hundreds, sometimes thousands, turn out each night to listen. Jason Harper was the moderator for the recent Porn Debate tour.

On this podcast some of the funny things on that tour were discussed, amongst many other silly things.

I guess there’s a point. I’m not sure what it was. But it’s fun to listen to this podcast.

On the podcast you hear:
Jason Harper – One of the Pastors at Capital Christian Center in Sacramento
JR Mahon – one of the Pastors of XXXChurch.com
Donny Pauling – me, of course
Anonymous – Former well known Porn Star who prefers to remain anonymous for now… 6 months ago he became a Christian and left the business.

I love JR’s sarcasm. His personality really shines through.

Jason Harper and JR Mahon
Jason’s on the left, JR on the right. Shot with my iPhone while recording the Podcast.

PS: I just heard the end of the podcast as I’m writing this… it’s kinda cool that Jason echoed my voice – a statement I made during the podcast – as part of the out-tro. Thanks, Jason.


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Grabbing Ron Jeremy’s Butt… and Other Silliness

The podcast we recorded last Sunday while at Capital Christian Center is finally up on JasonHarper.cc. Click that link, then listen to Episode 107. Jason Harper discusses some of the silliness that happened on the recent Porn Debate tour. The Porn Debate is quite the interesting event: Craig Gross from XXXChurch debates Ron Jeremy, the biggest adult male porn star in the business, about the issue of pornography. Hundreds, sometimes thousands, turn out each night to listen. Jason Harper was the moderator for the recent Porn Debate tour.

On this podcast some of the funny things on that tour were discussed, amongst many other silly things.

I guess there’s a point. I’m not sure what it was. But it’s fun to listen to this podcast.

On the podcast you hear:
Jason Harper – One of the Pastors at Capital Christian Center in Sacramento
JR Mahon – one of the Pastors of XXXChurch.com
Donny Pauling – me, of course
Anonymous – Former well known Porn Star who prefers to remain anonymous for now… 6 months ago he became a Christian and left the business.

I love JR’s sarcasm. His personality really shines through.

Jason Harper and JR Mahon
Jason’s on the left, JR on the right. Shot with my iPhone while recording the Podcast.

PS: I just heard the end of the podcast as I’m writing this… it’s kinda cool that Jason echoed my voice – a statement I made during the podcast – as part of the out-tro. Thanks, Jason.


6 Comments

A Busy Sunday In Sacramento

It’s been a busy Sunday, that’s for sure. I’m gonna ramble a little about my day for a minute, so bear with me and keep reading. There’s a good point to be made later in this article.

My day started off at 8am when my alarm clock let me know it was time to get up. Normally, 8am isn’t that early, but I was up until 2am watching movies with Wendy. When the alarm sounded, all I knew was that I needed to get ready to drive to Sacramento to meet JR Mahon, one of the pastors of XXXChurch, at Capital Christian Center.

JR asked if I’d meet him and shoot some film. I wasn’t really sure what the topic would be, but I’m up for whatever’s clever, ya know? And I’ll take a roadtrip at a moment’s notice. Besides, I really needed to make personal contact with someone to whom I’m accountable. JR is that someone. Or should I say “one” of those someones. When you’re as vile a sinner as yours truly, it takes much more than one accountability partner to keep you in check. 🙂

We met right before the 11am service. Capital Christian is right in the middle of a main-sanctuary remodel, so services were held in one of the other buildings on their campus. Jason Harper, one of their pastors, told me they can “only” seat 900 people in the temporary location, so they’ve gone to 7 services a day until the remodel of the main sanctuary is complete. The senior pastor’s sermon was great.

Right after the service, we hurried off to Jason’s office to record a podcast. Jason’s on “Episode 106”, or something like that, of his weekly podcast. I had a blast putting in my two cents here and there. Perhaps I’ll link to the Episode we recorded today as soon as Jason edits it. I’m sure you can’t wait. The anticipation must be killin’ you by now, right?

Once the podcast was over, we got to the real reason we’d all gathered. I asked JR what the topic of the day would be and he told me we were filming for The Esther Fund. Great cause. Very great cause.

In attendance was a very well known porn actor who left the business and gave his heart to God a little over 6 months ago. As of now, he’s not ready to release his name or porn name so I’ll keep it confidential. In his niche, he’s well known. We’ll leave it at that for now.

And now we’ve arrived at the part where I tell all of you a bit more detail about the Esther Fund and encourage you to support it in any way you can. I’ll speak from my own perspective.

When I left porn I left a lucrative income. Because of the nature of the porn world, money will always be pouring into it. I had a “live for the moment” attitude and blew every penny of the very large amount of money I made. Why? Because all I had to do to get more money was to wake up the next day and pick up a camera. More money was there for the taking. Saving was always something I’d do later. I remember the first month I made more than $50,000 (yes, for a single month): it was all spent by the middle of the following month. Yes, it’s possible to blow money like there’s no tomorrow. But I digress.

On the day I surrendered my life to God I decided I’d never again pick up a camera for the purpose of shooting porn. Problem was, there were bills to pay and shoots scheduled that would pay them. I knew I’d have to give up most of my “possessions”, but that really didn’t bother me. They brought no fulfillment anyway. The one thing I was concerned about, however, was how I’d continue to pay Wendy, my ex-wife. Without money from me, she and my son would be in a world of hurt. I left the business with no plan in mind. I just knew I had to get out and had a feeling God would provide. He didn’t disappoint me. The first way he helped was through the Esther Fund, (although I don’t think it had that name quite yet). I didn’t give a crap about money for myself, but I told XXXChurch my concerns for Wendy and Caden, and checks started showing up in her mailbox. That support took a huge load off my mind and completely negated any desires to continue producing porn in order to provide for her. Had it not been for the help I received during those crucial first days, my story might be different. Who knows.

Today, the porn star I mentioned earlier let me know that because of the Esther Fund, some very vital parts of his survival had been met. If I were able to speak freely I’d tell you exactly what is being provided and you’d better understand how amazing and important this fund has become to those who leave the world of porn.

On a sidenote: I’ll be attending Seminary soon and it’s the Esther Fund that makes THAT possible.

Discussion of the Esther Fund is incomplete without mentioning the people of XXXChurch and what a vital part they play in God’s kingdom. Some in the Christian community give them a lot of crap for what they do but I can tell you, my friends, the work they do changes lives. I’m a living example. Assisting me in leaving the business and helping financially in those first days is NOT where their work ends. They’ve also helped save my life since that time by giving me an ear to speak into one afternoon when I wanted to end my life. They got on the horn with me the moment they learned I was drinking too much red wine while posting on adult messageboards, making an insane fool out of myself. They kicked my ass both times, lovingly (sounds funny, but true) and got me thinking clearly again.

Despite what you may think of these people, you need to help them if you’re able to do so. If you’ve ever wondered whether contributing your money to a cause really effects change, let me tell you that when you contribute to the Esther Fund you can see the benefits to society right in front of your very eyes. The change in my own life is living proof.

I encourage you to contribute to the change of numerous lives to come.