Donny's Ramblings


6 Comments

An Active Porn Producer Sponsored Me – READ THIS PLEASE!

Later I want to tell you a little more about how Fireproof Ministries at one time supported my son and his mother when I couldn’t do so myself… KEEP READING! But first…

LET ME SHOW YOU SOME OF THE THINGS FIREPROOF MINISTRIES DOES

Jesus Loves Porn Stars:  Setting Up Booths at Porn Conventions

I first met the founders of Fireproof Ministries at a porn show. Their booth was much simpler than it is in this photo: back then it just said “XXXChurch.com – the number one Christian Porn Site”. I thought they were there to make fun of Christians, and I was all over it. I despised Christians, and anything that would poke at them was great in my opinion. I quickly discovered, however, that these people were manning a booth that was doing crazy things: showing love to a group of people at whom most Christians shouted hatred.  Some of those crazy things include doing make up for the girls who are hired by porn companies to run around being groped by porn convention visitors.  When those girls, someone’s daughter – someone’s sister, were sitting in the XXXChurch makeup chair, however, they’d hear words like this: “You’re beautiful.  God loves you.  There is nothing you can do to change that.  We think He has more for you than this, and if you’d like to talk, we’re here to listen.”

As even my own personal story demonstrates: non-judgmental love, which is Jesus’ love personified, changes people.

“Jesus Loves Porn Stars” Bibles

One year Fireproof started handing out Bibles that said something crazy on the cover:

“Jesus Loves Porn Stars”

On the back it asks the question, “Does Jesus Really Love Porn Stars?” The answer is given:  “Absolutely.  That might go against what you’ve heard about Jesus, but it’s true.  Jesus loves porn stars as much as He loves pastors, soccer moms, liars, thieves and prostitutes.  We’re all the same to Jesus.  We’re all just people who need God to save us from the mess we’re in and lead  us to a better way.  So what you’re holding in your hands is a straightforward telling of the story of Jesus…And in it you’ll read about the love-revolution that inspired the women and men who first experienced it to change the world forever.”

Thousands of these Bibles are given away free at porn conventions around the world.  Every one of them was made possible by donors.

Writing “Loved” on Brothel Walls

From teams of women who go into strip clubs to give roses and water to the dancers, to groups of people who want prostitutes to realize they are loved by the Creator of the Universe, Fireproof ministries reaches out to groups many others ignore or despise.  They recently did a make over on a real Nevada Brothel – not the part where the girls worked, but the disgusting area in which they lived when off duty.  On the walls they painted the words “Loved”.  The owner of this brothel welcomes the team to come back, and has even asked them to take certain workers away from the business after a heart softened by love-in-action recognized that an employee desperately needed to get out.

Embroidering “Loved” on Brothel Sheets and Pillowcases

In addition to painting the walls, the bedclothes were embroidered with the words “Loved.”   The team wasn’t there to pass judgment on the prostitutes to whom they were reaching out… they were there to show love in action, rather than just in words.  The staff of Fireproof Ministries believes God’s love really can change a person’s heart, and life.

Witnessing a group of people do things like this really got to me.  For the last four years of my porn-producing career, I watched this group work.  I’d go back and forth between being civil to them, and verbally attacking them, yet their message of love was consistent with the actions they showed towards me.  As that love broke down my walls of hatred and I could no longer justify to myself the things I was doing, I began to talk to God.  When I finally surrendered my life to Him, Craig Gross was the first person I called, and he sent one of the Fireproof Ministries pastoral staff to my house to spend time with me, a flight from Michigan to Northern California – the cost of which I was never asked to reimburse: donors made it possible.

Can you understand why I want to support this group of people?  Does it make a little more sense now? Will you help me do so by sponsoring me for this bowl-a-thon?

AND THAT IS WHY AM I PARTICIPATING IN A BOWL-A-THON

Fireproof Ministries (which includes XXXChurch.com, StripChurch.com and HeartSupport.com) does these types of things and many others that are “out of the box”…. which makes some people raise their eyebrows, while others think they’re the most relevant ministry ever.  When I was a Christian-hating porn producer, their approach to ministry really reached me.  They changed my opinions on what it means to be a Christian, which in turn took away my anger at the church, which eventually led to a place where I surrendered my life to God.  I know the leadership very well, and there is not a single person that doesn’t love God and have a heart for those who are in the gutter looking for a way out of it.

On my Bowlfest 2010 personalized donor page I listed a few personal reasons for doing this – here’s what I wrote:

I have a hard time asking people for money, even for such a great cause as this. But I want to share with you why I’m doing this:

This ministry has changed my life.

Let me explain… I produced porn for 9 years. I hated Christians. I despised the church. I was fueled by this rage. Fireproof ministries broke that hatred down over the course of four years. As they showed what it looked like to be Jesus in Skin, loving where others had hated, my heart softened and I couldn’t justify what I was doing with my life anymore. I reached out to God.

When I left porn I needed help. Fireproof was there being Jesus in Skin again. When they flew a Pastor to my house in California from their offices in Michigan (at the time) I wasn’t charged a dime. When they helped support my son after I’d lost all my income, they didn’t ask for a dime in return. When I mentioned wanting to go to Seminary they stepped up again, paying for my schooling.

Things like that take money. Helping raise that money is one way I can give back. Will you help me reach my goal? I’d appreciate it. Here’s what we’re doing:

On April 24th, I am going to risk total exhaustion, a coronary and possible carpel tunnel to help make a difference. You too can help by sponsoring me in the Bowlfest 2010 bowl-a-thon! I am going to bowl 100 frames to benefit Fireproof Ministries. Fireproof Ministries has several different ministries which are: XXXchurch.com (xxxchurch.com), The Strip Church (stripchurch.com), and Heart Support (heartsupport.com). I would love to make it to my goal of $25/frame ($2,500). I thank you for any donation you can give and remember all donations are tax-deductible!

If you’d like to read more about what this ministry means to me, check out this page on my website: http://www.donnypauling.com/blog/about/

FIREPROOF SUPPORTED MY SON

When I left the porn world I hadn’t saved any money.  I’d made a lot of it, and blew enormous amounts on trivial things because porn “would always be around so why save now?”  Thing is, my child support payments were incredibly important to my son and his mother.  Not being able to provide for them was not only a blow to the ego, but an enormous weight on my mind.  I couldn’t help talk about it, and Fireproof listened.  Checks began to arrive in the mailbox of my ex-wife, helping to pay my child support for the few months it took before I figured out how to support myself and my most important obligations.

FIREPROOF PAID MY TUITION

When I made it known that I wanted to enroll in a Seminary Program, not only did Craig Gross, co-founder of Fireproof Ministries, help me find a good school, he also paid my tuition through the ministry’s Esther Fund.  They do this because they are being Jesus in Skin.  This is a ministry that does a lot more than talk the talk.  They didn’t drag me out of the gutter and then send me on my way, alone.  Instead, they helped where most others never would have:  emotionally, spiritually, big time financially – we’re talking tens of thousands of dollars for ME ALONE.

This amazing ministry is only possible because of donations.  Christians who donated to this ministry in the past allowed Fireproof to be Jesus in skin, and that changed my life.  Let me restate that:  the very Christians I used to hate changed…my…life… even as I hated them. Talk about living up to the term “Christian”…

I realize there are a lot of non-profit companies to whom you can donate your hard earned money.  But I’m sure you understand why this one is personal, and why I’m asking you to sponsor me for Bowlfest 2010 today.  This fund raiser only comes once a year, and this is the first year I’ve participated.  I want to reach my $2,500 goal (or exceed it), and I’m asking you to help me do so.  No matter if it’s $5, $10, $100 or whatever… every single penny helps me get closer, and I thank you for it.

The whole reason for this post is this:  I REALLY need more sponsors.  In addition to the amount that has been donated on this online donor page, I’ve also raised an additional $600 in offline pledges, which at this precise moment (2:45pm PST on April 14th, 2010) brings me to an embarrassing grand total of $1055 (before I’ve counted any contributions of my own).  I won’t settle for anything less than $1,500 AT MINIMUS so if nothing else comes in between now and Bowlfest, I’ll make up the difference personally.   Still, I’d REALLY like to exceed the $2,500 goal I mentioned on my donor page, and every single bit counts.  Counting online and offline pledges, so far I’ve received a handful of $25 donations, a few $50 and $100 donations, one $200 donation and one $300 donation.  Every single bit adds up to bringing me closer to my goal, and I appreciate each one immensely.

As the thread title mentions, even a currently active porn producer made a pledge.  Why?  It was given because that producer knows this ministry is the real deal.  In fact, even porn star Ron Jeremy has donated this year, though not to me.  He is one of Craig‘s Bowlfest sponsors.  Even though he doesn’t agree with Craig’s views on porn, he respects this ministry.  That’s saying something.

Can you help too?  Either

make an online donation here using paypal, a credit card, or a bank account

… or

email me and let me know if you’d rather make an offline pledge.

And thank you for reading this!


Leave a comment

This Might Be a Mistake – We’ll See

An email I just sent out to every person in my contact list:

First of all, please know that I’m sending this email as a blind carbon copy to absolutely every email address in my google contacts. I probably should have sorted them out, ’cause of the hundreds and hundreds of email addresses, I’m sure some of you don’t talk to me anymore. If that’s the case, allow me to apologize in advance for my laziness in hitting “select all” for the bcc field.

Here’s why I’m emailing you:

Bowlfest is an annual fund raiser for a group I love called “Fireproof Ministries”… their best known ministry is called XXXChurch.com. I usually don’t participate in fund raisers because I absolutely hate raising sponsors. I agreed to do so this year, however and am down to the wire now (I have a matter of a few days before all sponsor info is due to be turned in). Here is a page with the details of what I’m trying to do and WHY I’m putting down my ego (seriously, this part is very hard for me) and asking for sponsors: http://bit.ly/ckPNeu

I’ve committed to raising $2,500 for Fireproof. I still need to raise another $1,750 – you can see how badly I’ve sucked at reaching my goal – hee hee. I’m asking for sponsors from:

-Pastors of churches where I’ve spoken to see if their church or men’s group will consider being a sponsor.
-Business owners.
-Friends and family.
-Etc.

If you fit the bill and are wiling to sponsor me, please let me know. You can do so on the page I linked to, or you can reply to me and have Fireproof send a sponsor sheet. Again, I’m sending this to hundreds of you at once so please don’t feel singled out or obligated. And, again, you can read more info here: http://bit.ly/ckPNeu

Thanks, guys! This is very important to me and I appreciate your consideration.

– Donny –
http://www.DonnyPauling.com


40 Comments

When I Let It Hit Me, Folks, This Is Gonna Be Incredibly Hard

In response to a comment left on Craig Gross‘ Facebook page by Michelle Truax, one of the key players on the XXXChurch Team, I just wrote:

I have decided not to deal with it right now. I’ve laughed today, read books, talked to Ted Haggard a few times, talked to my Pastor about the book we’re writing together… but I have pushed this out of my mind ’cause I do not know how to deal with it. Anybody who has met Steve cannot help but like, even love, him. I don’t want to accept this yet. I have a feeling it’s gonna hit hard in a few days.

Truth is, the most horrible thing that has happened in my life since I gave it to God happened yesterday, but I learned of it this morning.  If you follow me on Twitter you’d never know it.  I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I don’t wanna freakin’ deal with this.  One of the speakers on the XXXChurch team ended his own life yesterday, and I don’t know how to handle it.  His name is Steve Glisan.  You can watch his story by clicking here.  I loved Steve, but I never told him so.

I first met Steve at a Porn and Pancakes event in Colorado.  Because of the places it took him, his porn addiction resulted in a loss of his wife and three kids.  After years apart, he found help and his marriage was restored.  That, my friends, is why he spoke for XXXChurch.  The story of Steve and Ann Glisan was powerful.

I’m told he recently gave in to temptation and slipped up again… that he decided to handle the guilt by removing himself from this planet.  After all the heartache his family went through before, I cannot understand this decision.  Surely he had to know this was the worst possible choice?  I guess not.  Steve, who regularly blogged for XXXChurch under the name Steve G, is gone.  I am so angry with him, yet so sad at the same time.  I am not good handling this sort of thing.  I don’t know what to do.  I don’t know what to say.  I feel freakin’ useless.  There is nothing I can say to ease the pain his family must feel.  There is nothing I can say or do to deal with the way I feel, either.


4 Comments

I Need Your Help

The Quick and Simple Version:

I’ve agreed to participate in this event:  Bowlfest 2010 and I need sponsors.

The more detailed plea/explanation:

Some of you know my story.  You’ve read about my former career ruining lives.  You’ve likely read about some of the intense anger and bitterness I held towards Christians, and you’ve heard how much of that anger was removed over the course of four years by a missionary group calling themselves XXXChurch.com.  If you’d like to hear more about some of the things God has done in my life feel free to watch this video of me speaking at Mercy’s Cross church in Sherwood, Arkansas.

XXXChurch.com is part of Fireproof Ministries.  Fireproof Ministries also includes Strip Church:  Sin City’s Little Church House in Las Vegas, Nevada (click those links to learn more about it) and is financially supported by contributions from people like you, speaking fees and fundraisers.  This coming April I’ll be involved in Bowlfest, one of those fundraisers.  We’ll be bowling 100 frames, and I’ve already sponsored myself for $1 per frame.

XXXChurch asks each participant to have a goal of $25 per frame.  That’s all fine and dandy, but I have a lot of pride, and would like to blow all other participants out of the water.   In other words, I’d really like to raise more money than anybody else, and I need your help to do so.

If you’re interested in sponsoring me for this event please comment in this thread (your email address won’t publicly show, but I’ll have it) or email me directly,  donny@donnypauling.com, to let me know how much per frame you’re willing to sponsor.  Please keep in mind that there are 100 frames, so multiply by 100, or decide the total amount you’d like to give and divide by 100.  I realize you probably already figured that out but thought I’d bring it up anyway for my own peace of mind.  🙂

You can also donate online via PayPal on this page – click here.

If your church would like to sponsor me I’ll definitely not turn them down!  😉  Thanks so much for your help!

Here’s a video that shows a bit about this event, and what I’ll be doing:


Leave a comment

Please Vote For Heart Support

Heart Support, which is an online community support group for those struggling with various issues such as addiction, suicidal thoughts, depression, eating disorders, and other struggles, has been nominated for a Myspace Impact Award.

The winner of this award receives a sizable donation from Myspace. I’d like you to take 15 seconds of your time to go vote.

Click the graphic above or click here and vote for Heart Support.

Heart Support is a team up of several people you may already be familiar with, including XXXChurch.com and Jon Bell (for those who don’t know Jon, he’s author/pastor Rob Bell’s brother).

Vote, please!